I'm not Sam, I'm Sammy
by lonewolfvirgo
Summary: Sam gets a makeover by a monster and the old hag turns him into a girl and randomly disappears. WARNING: Gender bending, yaoi, crackfic. Don't enjoy, avoid at all cost. Oneshot


"Sam, let's go" Dean called from the car. He got in, irritated that Sam had to stop on the side of the road to pee. Sam shook himself off and ran back to the car. "So, dude," Sam tapped Dean's shoulder with his hands.  
"Dude, hands to yourself. " Dean said, brushing off the spot Sam touched as if it was dirty. "What?" Sam said, shrugging, mouth open. "Dude, you're such a germaphobe." Sam said, smiling, teasing Dean. "Whatever, bitch." "Jerk" Sam smiled.  
"So, what's our job, again?" "Some...witch in Vegas causing mischief." "Hmm" Sam picked up the paper pertaining to the case. The headline of a crappy magazine read 'Woman claims she was born a male, being turned to a female by a kiss of a witch. Crazy or magic?' Sam shook his head at how dumb the headline sounded. A witch turning people into their opposite gender just seem like bull to him.  
"Sam, how do you feel about growin' knockers?" Dean gave Sam a dirty look with a smile. Sam looked at him "Dude, stop thinking about it." "Well you already have the hair, the eyes, the...attitude" Sam took this opportunity to punch Dean in the arm. Dean laughed out an 'ooww' .  
After a few more hours of driving and they arrived in Sin city. Everywhere around them was bright lights, naked woman, and silly old men. Sounds like a town they could enjoy. "Viva Las-" Dean started, driving on the strip, until he gets distracted by a stripper advertisement "-Sexy".  
"Come on dude, focus." Sam hit his arm again. Dean just grunted. They arrived at their motel near their hotspot for their case. They were getting comfortable. "Hey Dean, I'm going out to get some food. Want anything other than the usual?" Sam rolled his eyes. Dean screamed from the shower "Pieeee! Pie pie pie pieeeee!" Sam was putting on his coat, listening to Dean serenade him in his pie solo. Sam left in the middle of Dean's song.  
Sam was in line, receiving his food and giving the cashier her cash. "Thank you" he said, walking away. Leaving the place, putting the food in the passenger seat, he noticed in the alley way that someone was screaming for help. He closed the passenger door after putting the food away and he went to go check out the screams. He noticed two shadows, and one was shifting.  
Suddenly a woman in full man's clothing ran out, crying.  
Sam went closer to the other shadow that didn't move. Suddenly he heard a raspy old voice "Come here, precious. Come closer. I will not harm you." Then he suddenly felt drawn toward the old woman he could barely see in the street lights overhead. Her eyes glowed blue and she had a nice grandmother smile. "Darling darling. You remind me of my granddaughter. Just one thing." She suddenly closed her eyes and sucked her breath as if she was sucking on a straw.  
Sam felt something within him change, something deep. He struggled from the magical grip he was in. He noticed his voice was changing as he struggled. Suddenly she let him go. "Oh, you're so precious" she said in her creepy raspy voice. He tried to punch her but she just turned into a puff of smoke. He noticed his hand was small and feminine. He just ran off to the car. He got into the passenger seat and he couldn't reach the peddles.  
"What the fu-" he noticed his voice was a much softer, higher tone. He looked into the rear mirror and he had long blonde hair, nice eye lashes, and a soft small face. He was a female. He turned the rear mirror away from him.  
On his way home all he could say was "Don't cry, don't cry. For God sakes Sammy don't cry." His eyes were watery and he was frustrated and upset. All he wanted to do was to wail out in tears.  
He got to the motel. Bringing the food, he rushed to the room. "Dean" he tried to sound like typical Sam but it was pathetic and small. "Dean! Open the door." Dean opened the door and noticed the face "I'm sorry miss but-" he couldn't notice but to check her out but when he did it was all Sam's clothes. His eyes widened. "Sammy?" Sam then finally broke down in tears, resting his head on Dean's chest. "I'm so confuuuuused" Sam cried.  
After Sam's meltdown, and Dean's attempted to comfort him, Sam hit the showers. Dean was eating his pie, not really caring that female Sammy was in the shower. He heard the shower stop and suddenly he was fixing himself up to look decent. Wait...why did he want to look decent, it's just Sammy!  
Sam came out in only a towel, but he forgot he had to wrap his towel higher. Dean turned around starting with "So, dude how do we-" Dean finally saw Sam's...chest. 'Wow' was all Dean could say. Sam was stacked. Sam shrugged and got teary eyed again " What, what did I do wroooong?" Dean got up from the desk and headed toward Sam next to the bed.  
He undid the towel without looking down. "Raise your arms, honey" he said without thinking about it too much. Sam did as he said, looking away and embarrassed. Dean then redid the towel up higher, under Sam's armpits as its supposed to be for females. Dean couldn't help but to notice Sam's blush.  
He tucked Sam's loose long hair behind his ear. "Hey." Dean said, "You okay?"  
Dean couldn't believe he was feeling this way toward his brother...or sister, or something. Sam looked up at him. "Dean, I feel funny." Dean looked down at him, not noticing he was closing proximity to him. "What is it?" "I...I want.."  
Sam couldn't control himself anymore. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and kissed him deep. Dean closed his eyes, enjoying for a moment how soft his lip were. Dean came back to his senses and pulled back. "Wow, wow, wow there Sammy." "Dean~" Sam whined in his new feminine voice. "I'm wet." Sam smiled. Dean's mouth was wide open. Suddenly he heard a different voice and presence behind him. He pulled back and turned around and Cas was right behind him. "Am I...interrupting something, Dean Winchester?" Castiel said, in a not very happy tone of voice.

Dean hid behind Cas, making Cas confused as to who he was hiding from. When Cas looked in front of him he saw a very beautiful young female. "Why, hello there Sammy? Did you finally get that sex change you wanted?" Castiel said with a sarcastic undertone to it. Sam just pouted and sat on the bed. "How did you know it was him?" "Other than the fact you fell for his pheromones-" Castiel said, looking away "which I can ALSO produce, just so you know-" Dean rolled his eyes at Cas' obvious jealousy. "Sam's soul and genes is still the same. The only thing that changed was his physical body and hormone levels-" Cas said looking at Sam practically bawling on the bed "-obviously."

Dean shrugged "If he's not horny, he's crying. I don't know how to keep him happy, Castiel" Dean said, also feeling a bit frustrated. Cas disappeared for a moment and then reappeared. He had two arms full of chocolate as he slammed them on the bed. "Eat, Sam. It helps." "Chocolate." "It's the only thing that keeps woman at bay when they're emotional. That and cute little kitties...and Disney movies..." Dean looked at him quizzically.

"Why do you know this?" Cas gave Dean a serious look "Do you know how many women are in heaven, Dean? Too many." Cas said under his breath. Dean just nodded in understanding. When Castiel left, the night went on and Dean and Sam went to bed early in the morning. Dean was waking up, he noticed something was nuzzled under his chin. He enjoyed the warm comfort that was beneath him until...he realized it was his brother.

Dean looked down to see a sleeping, naked Sam under him. Dean backed away quickly, accidentally waking Sam. Sam sat up and rubbed his eyes "What's your problem?" "We were... you were... ummm, you're naked." Sam blushed and shrugged "You—you didn't like it?" Cas once again beams down out of no where, sitting in the chair near the desk. "It's not that he didn't enjoy it Sammy, he's just taken. I don't know if Dean's told you-" Dean was shaking his head and crossing his arms frantically at Sam "- me and Dean" "Have plenty of things to do! Like for instance, have a chat outside about this situation." Dean said, dragging Cas outside before he could speak.

Dean dragged him outside and slammed the door, flashing a nervous smile at naked Sam. "Okay, I need your help with him...her...whatever!" Dean was frantic. "He...she...it...needs clothes." Dean grabbed Cas and shook him "or I'm gonna lose it Castiel, I swear." Castiel nodded.

He disappeared for a moment and returned with a bunch of feminine clothes. Dean picked up a bra and panties. He kinda shuddered and put it back. They reentered the motel room where Sam was nibbling on some chocolate and watching Bambi on his laptop.

"Okay Sammy. Go get dressed." Dean threw a bunch of clothes in Sam's lap. Sam picked up the bra "48 D?" Castiel started "just by the look of it, it's probably your size." Sammy entered he bathroom. After a few minutes of pacing and waiting, Dean knocked on the door. "Sammy, you okay in there?" "Umm.. Can Castiel come in here?". Dean looked over at Cas who looked at Dean and shrugged. He beamed out of the room and into the bathroom.

Sam was struggling with his bra. Castiel appeared to his rescue. "Okay, let's see what I can do here." Castiel turned Sam around and hooked the brackets and hooks together, then he turned Sam around and fixed his breasts into his cups. Sam looked away in shyness. "Are you comfortable? Does it pinch anywhere?" Castiel looked up at him, concerned eyes. Sam just shook his head and said "It's comfortable".

"Call me if you need anymore help." Cas said before beaming back to Dean. "Is Sammy okay?" "He's fine. Just some girly trouble." Castiel said, looking down and smiling to himself. "I think we should have a little girl one day." Cas smiled to himself. "What?" Dean said, wide eyed and confused. "Oh...umm.." Cas looked around then suddenly disappeared. "Damn angels." Dean grunted to himself. Sam popped out of the bathroom. "Dean, this is embarrassing" Dean looked over at Sam. Sam was in a pink and white striped tank top, short denim shorts, and white tennis shoes. "Dean...I'm practically naked." "No, baby-" Dean corrected himself "-Sammy, you blend in. Now lets go we need more information on this bitch that made you..." Dean checked out Sammy one more time before picking up his coat "...you."

Dean and Sam went to a couple local libraries in the newspaper archives to look for women who lost their granddaughters. One particular case stood out: 'Grandmother kills young girl, mistaken it was her granddaughter, now looking for revenge for every young girl under the age of 8' "Dean look at this."  
Dean looked at the article and read it thoroughly. "They said she got off trial because of her senile age." "Well, that's dumb." "You know Vegas jurisdiction isn't the best." "Yeah" Sam said, crossing his leg over the other. Sam continued to read as Dean noticed the leg thing. "What..what's that?" "What's what?" Sam looked at him, confused. Sam looked down at his legs "This thing? I didn't even know I was doing it. It's rather comfortable." Dean just shook his head and laughed.

Sam and Dean left the library. They entered the car. They went to a local burger joint for lunch. Dean was looking on Sam's laptop for witch killings. Dean noticed Sam squirming a bit. "Dude, what's your problem?" "I gotta pee" "Then go." "Which one do I use?" "The girl one." Sam looked around and leaned closer to Dean "Hoooow?" "Pull down pants and underwear, sit, pee, wipe yourself, pull up, wash hands." Dean said, nonchalantly. "It's so complicated!" Sam practically screamed. "Dude, then pretend you a drag and go into the men's room."

Sam just got up and left, and he went into the ladies' bathroom. After about ten minutes he came out but got stopped by a couple of gangsters on the way back to the table. "Why hello there, precious? How bout me and you go for a ride?" One of the three guys threw his arm around Sam. "Yeah baby, we don't bite" another one said. Sam was so overwhelmed he just starting crying again.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Sam thought it was Dean, but when he looked over, it was a blonde short haired, blue eyed, slightly muscled guy in a blue t-shirt and black jeans. Immediately Sam felt his heart skip. The gangster were all lining up and ready to fight this guy.

Suddenly Dean came running down from the table. "Hey, guys, we don't wanna start anything. She's with us, so just move it along okay?" Dean said, putting up his arms. The gangsters decided to just walk away. Sam wiped his tears. "Hey, you okay?" Dean asked, wrapping his arms around Sammy. Dean saw the guy standing next to her. "Thank you, for helping." Dean smiled. He returned a smile and began walking away.

Sam pushed Dean away and chased after the guy. "Hey!" The blue-eyed beauty turned around. Sam walked up to him and began talking. Dean went back to his table to eat. Sam came back after ten minutes. He sat down and sighed happily. "What's his naaame?" Dean asked. "Brian." Sam smiled. "You do realize you're a guy, right?" "Umm...yeah, yeah..."

After they've completed their food, they left the apartment to go search out the supposed witch's house. They knocked a few times but no one answered. Dean took that oppurtunity to kick down the door. They traveled through the house, Dean taking the kitchen and Sam the livng room. Suddenly he heard Sammy screech. "Dean!" Dean came running to his rescue. When he finally raced to the livng room, he saw Sammy in the clutches of the witch. "My precious girl, what are you doing out here in this cruel world" she said, patting Sammy's long pony tail. Sam struggled. "Please, no!" The witch noticed Sam was looking straight out and she align her sight with his to see Dean standing there with a shot gun.

"Die, you old bich" and Dean shot at her but she quickly disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Suddenly they heard a loud evil laughter and running up the stares. "Dean, stay here. I can lure her."

Sam went upstairs. He heard the witch try and get his attention as he walked through the hallway of the old creeky house. "My pretty pretty girl, you don't need that man, all he does is exploit you for pleasure. Let me love you, my pretty granddaughter. I will bake you cookies and sing to you so you can sleep." Suddenly Sam felt that grasp again.

It dragged him to her. Her eyes glew once more. "Now, you'll be mine. Bond to me to this house." She started chanting, and in that instant Sam stabbed her in her stomach. She screeched and fell to the floor. She died a very quick death. Sam suddenly felt the pit of his stomach ache and he screamed in agony.

Dean heard it and ran upstairs. As Dean ran toward the bedroom, he noticed the scream was Sam's old voice.

Dean barged in to see blood everywhere and a naked Sammy lying there. Sam snapped out of his pain and looked up, covering his junk. "Dean! Don't look!" Dean smiled and scratched the back of his head "I'm just glad it's back.". And in that instant, it was over. The girl phenomenom was over.


End file.
